What Happens When You Ask For What You Want

Are You Asking For What You Want?

In any relationship, there comes a time where you must ask for what you want. Sometimes you ask your customer what they value most in working with you. Sometimes you ask a parent if you’ve done a good job. No matter your age, it feels good to receive. In the game of allowing and receiving, sometimes you realize you never asked. In situations where it’s not obvious and when you finally build the courage within to ask, “Are you proud of me?” or “Did I do a good job?” how often does the response satisfy you? Does that response make you want to achieve more or less? Maybe you never ask. Perhaps there are times when you suppress that courage, unknowingly, which leaves you in a lonely, uncomfortable place.

Loneliness can freak you out, leave you vulnerable, jealous, critical, judgmental and feeling resistant. Loneliness will challenge your mental state and everything you’ve worked so hard for up until this point. Pile on anxiety and it only further distorts your perception and decision-making capabilities. If your emotions have been on sensory overload, ask yourself why and explore what is coming up for you.

I came across these two quotes that are transforming my ‘inner, immature and irresponsible child’ to a responsible adult. Give them a try.

  1. You are responsible.

“The acceptance of personal responsibility for your life is the giant step from childhood to

maturity. Prior to that decision, people criticize, complain and blame others for their problems.

After that decision, they see themselves as the primary creative forces in their own lives. Before

you take total responsibility for your life, you see yourself as a victim. Afterward, you see

yourself as a victor.” – Brian Tracy, author of “Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life”


  1. You are in charge.

“You are where you are and what you are because you have decided to be there. Everything

you accomplish, for the rest of your life, will be largely determined by the actions that you take,

or fail to take. You are responsible. You are in charge. You are in control. You are your own

boss. And there are no limits except the limits that you allow the outside world to place on

yourself and on your thinking.” –  Brian Tracy, author of “Change Your Thinking, Change Your



Here’s How: 

If you are on an emotional roller coaster, it is important to understand that you are in control of that roller coaster.  If you think your close friends and family members can read your mind and know what you want just because they have known you for so long, that is simply immature.  Sometimes you need to get rid of the mental chatter that’s your ‘inner child’ wanting his/her way and become the responsible adult. This means taking responsibility and asking for what you want; ask someone in your life to share your experience and you may get what you want.

It’s easier to do nothing. It’s easier not to ask. It takes courage. You are responsible for asking for what you want. Ask and you just might receive.

Sheila Peterson, Healthy Living Chicago, Profile, Picture, Health Coach

By Sheila Petersen

Life Elemental

Ask For What You Want – Printable PDF


Edited by Sean Paler


  1. Dr. Michael Veerman

    This is an article that really makes you think and I was thinking about the other side. What happens when someone asks you for something they need. It is important to weigh the risks and rewards of all agreements but if you can help someone achieve their goals with little risk then why not. This is how you establish a strong relationship.

  2. Dr. Smitherman

    I have found that asking myself to get what I want has been a big deal for me. Every day we have to ask of ourselves and deliver on those demands. When we don’t deliver, we can always move on and ask again the next day.

  3. Dr. Horner

    Whether you’re asking for your goals or helping someone else with theirs, asking promotes growth.

  4. Dr. John Culp

    In our technological isolation, our inner dialogue is often louder than our social world’s. But it is the personal connections that make our lives feel right. So the hardest part may be that we all have different ways of asking for what we want, and different ways of giving. In health, and in life, we simply need each other. The beauty is that we can always change our minds and try something new if what we tried in the past just isn’t working for us anymore. As we try to ask the world for what we want, sometimes a text message just doesn’t do the trick.


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